Stalking & Self-Deception

It has been a little while since my last post, took a little break from GULB due to work and my personal activities, but I am back with my bits of lovin' and this article will concentrate on how Self-deception leads to Stalking.

Definition please:
Stalking is a term used to describe unwanted attention by individuals (and sometimes groups of people) to others.

Why Stalking & Self-Deception? or how do Self-deception leads to stalking?

Remember the last time you updated yourself daily or even hourly with information of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend by referring to their blogs, Facebook, Friendster, Twitter etc. If you remember that you are doing it too often, this is commonly referred to a behavior, which is “Internet Stalking”. This behavior is definitely common in nowadays as the information are always readily available over the World Wide Net, and it is a temptation that is hard to resist, you want to know what is going on, you want to know whether they have moved on, whether they are still thinking about you, all these information will cause you to be emotionally insecure and unstable for a while or maybe a long while. I would want to voice out on this; this is extremely unhealthy especially if you have just recently broken up with the person you are “I-stalking”.

Why did I link the word Self-deception to stalking?

This is a true encounter that made me realize the above question, the notion of self-deception leading to stalking.

She self blamed herself for being a burden, she was afraid of being a burden, thus she decided to let go of a relationship, her first love. After that, she hopes to be a good friend to him, read his blog every single day, wanted to know what was going on in his life, wanted to still feel connected to him -> “I-stalking”.. She knew it was wrong, because shortly after the break-up, she got into another relationship.

Self deceiving herself, she allowed herself to indulge in intimacy with her boyfriend then, indulge in the love care and concern that her boyfriend was providing for her, but in her heart, she is lying to herself, because she was still deeply in love, with her first love, who she was still trying hard to relate to every single minute and day of her life.

After a year of self-denial and self deceiving, she finally decided to let go of the one who was true to her, blamed him for his lack of concern and care, and she pluck up her courage, to look him up (her first love) after 1 year of “I-stalking”. Rejection came… she realize that she can get neither of both guys back anymore, she fell into a depression.

Do we call this “greed” or human nature who believes that they always deserve something better; when what they are already getting is already enough to satisfy their emotional appetite? This brings us back to the point that I always emphasize on, to be contented with what you have.

Shortly after realizing that it could be easier to get the 2nd guy instead of her first love back, she decided to intensively “i-stalk” the 2nd guy, while constantly stalking her first love. Her life revolved around the latest happening of what is happening to the 2 guys who was once part of her life. She got aggressive, she began to hurl abuses at the girls who got close to them, and bad mouth them, feeling that they weren’t worthy. She got upset, and wanted to know whether do any one of these two guys actually miss her, she lived in self-denial and refuse to admit the fact that, they have moved on, leaving her beside, stepping in the same spot, blaming herself all the time for the failure of the relationships that she was holding dearly in her heart.

Was it loneliness that made her feel this way? Or was her inferior complex acting up? Or did she did all these, just wanting to feel wanted?

Either ways, I feel sorry for her and I sincerely hope that she can move on well in life, even though I really despise the fact that she allows herself to be betray her own body, soul and mind. I pray that the next rain, will cleanse your soul and your weary mind, to help you to think clearer of what you want in your life.

My advice:

Self-deception is never healthy, NEVER. Please do not let loneliness drive you to doing things that will eventually hurt yourself, be it physically or emotionally. Get over the previous relationship before getting into a new one, because you do realize the fact that, you might end up hurting all three parties. Stay single for a while, break away from all the information feed over the internet, and move on. Refer to my article: “Coping with Pain”.

For those who are in the above scenario and require personal self advices, remember geturlifeback@gmail.com is always here to help you heal the broken soul of yours, to help you get your life back.