First Heart Break...

The first time anyone fall in love, I bet the feeling must be great. First time knowing that you are being loved, being cared for. Showing affections for each other, late night phone calls, wonderful dates, whispering sweet-nothings. Close your eyes, imagine the first time you fall so deeply in love with someone, you thought it was going to last forever. The long kisses, the tight hugs and the different versions of "I love you", when the nights doesn't seems lonely anymore.

All of a sudden...

"I am sorry, but I feel that we can't go on..."

"Why?"

"I found someone new/I need to concentrate on my studies/work/We just can't work things out/I don't love you anymore/I am a bad lover/I don't deserve you/ and etc. the list can go on forever..."

Feel the heart break, feel the pain that you felt at that instant. The whole world just seems crumpling down, you lost all strength, you lost the pillar, you lost all the care and affection that you thought was going to last forever. Tears welling up in your eyes, before you know it, the sky starts pouring, everything turns dark. You are totally lost, totally confused, totally crushed.

Guess what I did?

I listened to the song "How do I live" and drank dettol. I felt like dying, I felt that I was made used of, felt so inferior, so lousy that I wish that I can just end my life there and then. Landed up in the hospital of course, and suffered the consequences of my first silly act. Forced to drink bottle after bottle of plain water, and vomitting it all out afterwards. Escaped a police case as I was underaged and the officer decided to give me another chance.

I went home that night, hugged my bolster and cried myself to sleep. It was a relationship, a puppy love that lasted 1 year 3 months, and it was gone with the wind, never to come back again. (I will never want it back again... )

Advice for the depressed who is in the same situation as the above:
Please please please don't try dettol. It doesn't help to kill you, but it just makes you miserable. Ya know drinking what kills you? detergent. =) But NO.. I am not encouraging anyone to commit sucide by drinking detergent. Always remember, puppy love never last, maybe some do, but most of the time, it is really just child's play. After getting over it, you will realise that, it might just be a joke, or some cute memories to keep and smile about.

Puppy love will always be sweet, it can be a disaster or a fairytale. Remember that you are the only one in charge of your life, people can tell you what to do, but ultimately, you make the decision, it's your choice. My choice is to get over it.. and move on.. =)

Someone gave me a very valuable advice during that period of time:
You can stay in the exact same spot for years, just stand there... but the sky will still be blue, the sea will still have waves, and the Earth will still be revolving around... Everyone will move on.. and you can stay behind, all by yourself.

Get your life back. =)