Today's topic is about finding yourself.
I am sure that everyone of us here, has experienced what we called a "break-down" period. A state of which you just feel so tired, mentally and even physically and simply couldn't find the strength to move on. I am not perfect, and i do have my break-down periods.
This entry is more about myself, but i know that some people can actually relate to it.
I am juggling between two jobs, a full time job as a sales coordinator in a hotel and being a freelance model. I hardly have enough rest on weekdays due to the late night runway rehearsals and shows that I am doing on the second and third week of the month. Not to complain, I love and enjoy what I am doing as a runway model, because it has always been a childhood dream to walk up that stage just for that few minutes. The feeling is simply great.
However, lately, i came to a decision to quit my hotelier's job. Modelling is just a sub reason of why i quitted, but the main reason is, I am lost. Lost in the sea of never-ending work that I have been trying to battle ever since i started work at the hotel. After thinking everything through, I know that I am not cut out to be a hotelier, not because i can't, but i just didn't have the passion to.
After working in the hotel for 4 months, I realise that having passion in what you do is the top most important thing, if not you will never put your heart into it. I use to soar during the days when i was working as an event coordinator with my old company, but I felt that i have achieved nothing so far in my 4 months of service in my hotel line. Doesn't all these boils down to just one word, "passion". =)
Finding myself; This is very very important to me now, and it is also very crucial to all of you out there to know what you want, what you need, and who you really are, because only when you know who you are, you are able to define your goals in life, subsequently mapping out how you want to achieve your goals.
I am someone who wants to work for something I am passionate about, it is never about how much I am being paid, but how much I can really contribute to my job. I believe that if i really love my job, i will be able to excel in it. The same goes out to everyone of you. Afterall, although money might be a very big factor, happiness is what that keeps someone determined to stay alive. Obviously, if by earning lots of money brings you happiness, then i got nothing to say. =)
People, wish me luck after the 6 August 2007 where my service at the hotel will be terminated. and look forward to more updates which will be coming up real soon...
In the meanwhile, same thing once again, e-mail me at geturlifeback@gmail.com for any advice that you need... I am always here.. reply guaranteed in 24 hours and this service is 100% free. =p
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Victim of "Love"
Just a life experience that I wish to share with you readers. =)
This happened when I was secondary 2 going secondary 3, at that point of time, I was still naive and very ignorant. It was then, when i started with my first boyfriend. It took me a lot of courage to actually accept him, knowing the fact that we might not have a future together because of my strict family background, and him being someone who doesn't know what he wants in the future and bums around.
The first month of relationship was fine, just like any honeymoon period, it was pure puppy love.
However, after the first month, things started changing. He became very abusive, both physically and verbally. He never fails to find fault with me, to scold me or even beat me up for no reason. He threaten to break up with me for no reason on my birthday that year but time and time again, I refused to let go due to my "then" thinking about him being my first love and thought that things could actually change for the better. I was totally wrong, he just carried on with his "outrageous" behaviour towards me, hurling vulgarities, physical abuse, and making me feel that I was worthless. I became like his slave.
This went on for a period of 1 year 3 months when i took the first step out of this torturous relationship. I told myself that I had enough. With the support of my friends, I got out of the deep drowning hole and started to learn how to stand on my own, and say "No" to him. I started going out with my friends, and step by step, I slowly forget him although the scars that he left within me, still haunt me sometimes.
I know that, there are girls or maybe even guys out there who did or maybe still experiencing a abusive partner. Please remember one point, noone deserves to be treated badly by their partners UNLESS you are doing the same too. Nevertheless, if two person starts getting abusive with each other, there is absolutely no point in carrying on the particular relationship.
Noone is worthless, you know that you deserve someone better if your partner doesn't know how to treat you right. Learn how to stand up for youself and say "No, I had enough". If it's very difficult for you to do so, get your friends to help. It will definitely hurt in the beginning, knowing that you've already gave in alot just to hold on to the relationship but ultimately, it's your own happiness in hands.
Abuse cases varies... If anyone of you out there are experiencing abuse from your partners and needs help, drop me an e-mail. I will try my best to help you in whatever ways I can.
This happened when I was secondary 2 going secondary 3, at that point of time, I was still naive and very ignorant. It was then, when i started with my first boyfriend. It took me a lot of courage to actually accept him, knowing the fact that we might not have a future together because of my strict family background, and him being someone who doesn't know what he wants in the future and bums around.
The first month of relationship was fine, just like any honeymoon period, it was pure puppy love.
However, after the first month, things started changing. He became very abusive, both physically and verbally. He never fails to find fault with me, to scold me or even beat me up for no reason. He threaten to break up with me for no reason on my birthday that year but time and time again, I refused to let go due to my "then" thinking about him being my first love and thought that things could actually change for the better. I was totally wrong, he just carried on with his "outrageous" behaviour towards me, hurling vulgarities, physical abuse, and making me feel that I was worthless. I became like his slave.
This went on for a period of 1 year 3 months when i took the first step out of this torturous relationship. I told myself that I had enough. With the support of my friends, I got out of the deep drowning hole and started to learn how to stand on my own, and say "No" to him. I started going out with my friends, and step by step, I slowly forget him although the scars that he left within me, still haunt me sometimes.
I know that, there are girls or maybe even guys out there who did or maybe still experiencing a abusive partner. Please remember one point, noone deserves to be treated badly by their partners UNLESS you are doing the same too. Nevertheless, if two person starts getting abusive with each other, there is absolutely no point in carrying on the particular relationship.
Noone is worthless, you know that you deserve someone better if your partner doesn't know how to treat you right. Learn how to stand up for youself and say "No, I had enough". If it's very difficult for you to do so, get your friends to help. It will definitely hurt in the beginning, knowing that you've already gave in alot just to hold on to the relationship but ultimately, it's your own happiness in hands.
Abuse cases varies... If anyone of you out there are experiencing abuse from your partners and needs help, drop me an e-mail. I will try my best to help you in whatever ways I can.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Dealing with your Parents' Divorce
The divorce rate in Singapore is seriously increasing. Apart from me talking about how two person should live their life together, how about coping with your own parents splitting up?
Well, I am sure that there are people who has either undergo such an issue in their family, or could even be going through it now.
Imagine late at night say 2am, you hear screamings and things breaking coming from your parents' room, sisters crying out of fear, and you simply feel so useless because in no way, you can actually interfere in your parents' matter. and the thunder comes striking down, "I want a divorce!"
Your heart sank... Tears just flow out of your eyes uncontrollably. You don't exactly seem to understand what has happened, and neither can you foresee what will be going to happen.
There is alot of consequences when a family split up, and the "parents" have to be able to handle the aftermath.
I will never blame my parents if they finally decide to get a divorce, because i really don't want to see both of them suffering anymore, particularly for my mom. I know my dad will be fine on his own, especially now that he has a proper job and is well-taken care of by his boss. The two person I am most worried about, my two younger sisters. They are still young, and they need both their parents by their side now that they are growing up. Besides, asking them to choose between my dad and mom will totally traumatise them. Life will never be the same after your parents split up, I know that my life will not be the same soon.
As the second eldest in the family, I can only say that the way to deal with the split up, is to stay strong. Set a good role model for your younger siblings as they will always be looking up to you, and going to you asking you why all these will happen. Be patient with your younger siblings as it can get quite frustrating as they won't be able to understand even if you explain to them.
Basically, it is really heart-breaking to see your parents splitting up, but always remember that, life goes on. You might not see one of them everyday, but at least, know that it is for the better. Always be there to guide along your younger siblings because they need you. I can never say the words, "Don't let it affect you so much" because it does affect, and it affects you on a big scale.
For me, I know that I will learn how to cope with it when that feaful day arrive.
Till then, if anyone out there needs help, please do just drop me an e-mail at geturlifeback@gmail.com
Peace.
Well, I am sure that there are people who has either undergo such an issue in their family, or could even be going through it now.
Imagine late at night say 2am, you hear screamings and things breaking coming from your parents' room, sisters crying out of fear, and you simply feel so useless because in no way, you can actually interfere in your parents' matter. and the thunder comes striking down, "I want a divorce!"
Your heart sank... Tears just flow out of your eyes uncontrollably. You don't exactly seem to understand what has happened, and neither can you foresee what will be going to happen.
There is alot of consequences when a family split up, and the "parents" have to be able to handle the aftermath.
I will never blame my parents if they finally decide to get a divorce, because i really don't want to see both of them suffering anymore, particularly for my mom. I know my dad will be fine on his own, especially now that he has a proper job and is well-taken care of by his boss. The two person I am most worried about, my two younger sisters. They are still young, and they need both their parents by their side now that they are growing up. Besides, asking them to choose between my dad and mom will totally traumatise them. Life will never be the same after your parents split up, I know that my life will not be the same soon.
As the second eldest in the family, I can only say that the way to deal with the split up, is to stay strong. Set a good role model for your younger siblings as they will always be looking up to you, and going to you asking you why all these will happen. Be patient with your younger siblings as it can get quite frustrating as they won't be able to understand even if you explain to them.
Basically, it is really heart-breaking to see your parents splitting up, but always remember that, life goes on. You might not see one of them everyday, but at least, know that it is for the better. Always be there to guide along your younger siblings because they need you. I can never say the words, "Don't let it affect you so much" because it does affect, and it affects you on a big scale.
For me, I know that I will learn how to cope with it when that feaful day arrive.
Till then, if anyone out there needs help, please do just drop me an e-mail at geturlifeback@gmail.com
Peace.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Just for Laugh! =)
This "article" below was adopted from one of my friend. He is those kind of happy-go-lucky person and seriously speaking, doesn't take relationship seriously. However, his blog entry below (quoted) kinda carry some meaning in it. If not, read it just for fun to lighten up whatever moody feelings you have. =) (Please do not get offended by the strong language. He's still a kid. )
Dude : I got dumped man.
Me : Uh, ok. Waddaya want me to do.
*silence*
Me : You want her back?
Dude : Yeah.
Me : Why?
Dude : I dunno.
Me : U're fuckin retarded.
*silence*
Me : Give me a good reason why you want her back. If you can I'll help ya out.
Dude : I dunno how to put it in words.
Me : U're still retarded. Just worse.
Dude : I dunno where to go, I wanna go down to where she and her friends are.
Me : What good will it do? Answer this question before you go down.
Dude : *silence*
Me : Why doncha come over and we'll see how we can help you. Its pretty obvious you're not gonna be scoring any points by going down.
Dude : Ok
*5 minutes later*
Dude : I'm going to find em.
Me : Look. Whether you want her or not, going down is downright retarded. Its a lose lose. If you want her back, going down shows how fuckin pathetic you are. If not, you're bloody wasting your time.
Dude : . . . . . . . . .
Me : I'm goin home.
*phone rings*
Dude : Lend me forty bucks man.
Me : Fuck off.
Yet another classic example of how not to handle a break up. Dumped or dump, its retarded to run right back to ur brand new ex just to show him/her how much you miss him/her. Reasons are already stated above. Why can't anyone ever understand this? If love is blind, then fuck love. A relationship is supposed to enhance one's life, not drag it into some deep abyss of pain, hurt, and degradedness. If it gets to the latter, please have some sense to kill it off?
Holding on due to the fact that its a long relationship is the sorriest reason for a relationship itself. Ask yourself why the r/s started, and what you felt. Sure, honeymoon period is called honeymoon period for a reason, but with a couple with some intelligence, it can be kept going. If not, by virtue of the fact that both parties in a r/s has at least some intelligence, they should have agreed to either a mutual break up or to sort out the problems and iron out the issues.
I hope Dude ain't dead yet. Somebody his age should have some common sense already. A r/s is not all rosy and well, else it wouldn't be termed one. But if things get so so so so so so so bad, fucking stop it?
I am such a wonderful person =)
Dude : I got dumped man.
Me : Uh, ok. Waddaya want me to do.
*silence*
Me : You want her back?
Dude : Yeah.
Me : Why?
Dude : I dunno.
Me : U're fuckin retarded.
*silence*
Me : Give me a good reason why you want her back. If you can I'll help ya out.
Dude : I dunno how to put it in words.
Me : U're still retarded. Just worse.
Dude : I dunno where to go, I wanna go down to where she and her friends are.
Me : What good will it do? Answer this question before you go down.
Dude : *silence*
Me : Why doncha come over and we'll see how we can help you. Its pretty obvious you're not gonna be scoring any points by going down.
Dude : Ok
*5 minutes later*
Dude : I'm going to find em.
Me : Look. Whether you want her or not, going down is downright retarded. Its a lose lose. If you want her back, going down shows how fuckin pathetic you are. If not, you're bloody wasting your time.
Dude : . . . . . . . . .
Me : I'm goin home.
*phone rings*
Dude : Lend me forty bucks man.
Me : Fuck off.
Yet another classic example of how not to handle a break up. Dumped or dump, its retarded to run right back to ur brand new ex just to show him/her how much you miss him/her. Reasons are already stated above. Why can't anyone ever understand this? If love is blind, then fuck love. A relationship is supposed to enhance one's life, not drag it into some deep abyss of pain, hurt, and degradedness. If it gets to the latter, please have some sense to kill it off?
Holding on due to the fact that its a long relationship is the sorriest reason for a relationship itself. Ask yourself why the r/s started, and what you felt. Sure, honeymoon period is called honeymoon period for a reason, but with a couple with some intelligence, it can be kept going. If not, by virtue of the fact that both parties in a r/s has at least some intelligence, they should have agreed to either a mutual break up or to sort out the problems and iron out the issues.
I hope Dude ain't dead yet. Somebody his age should have some common sense already. A r/s is not all rosy and well, else it wouldn't be termed one. But if things get so so so so so so so bad, fucking stop it?
I am such a wonderful person =)
How to handle "REJECTION" ?
Talking about relationships and how to maintain relationships, suddenly something strike me. How about handling rejection? Something that comes before a relationship is form.
Unless you are a super charmer, even then i am sure that we do get rejected at least once right?
"Eh.. i like you... do ya think we should give each other a chance?"
"No.. let's just be friends..."
Suddenly Beethoven's famous music comes thundering in....
"DANG".
Your heart feels like it has been smashed into a million pieces. The sharp pain feels as though a spear has pierce straight into your heart.
One piece of advice that I have gave to one of my troubled reader, be glad that the person is frank enough to tell you that he/she doesn't like you. He/she is doing you a bigger favour to reject you then to lead you on. It is really less painful to get rejected then to get into a relationship and find out that things just simply can't work out.
Not to be religious, but God is fair. Everyone is created for someone, that someone special. That is why, I've always believe that there is someone out there who is specially made for you, and when the person is standing in front of you, you know it. =) Love cannot be forced upon someone, let it be natural, and you will feel that it is such a pleasant and sweet feeling. By forcing someone to love you, (which eventually you know it's impossible), the consequences will only be painful, ugly and just wrong?!?
What to do after a rejection?
Ya know, after you get rejected by someone you really fancy, move on. Not in the sense ofr moving on to find another guy/girl to instantly fall for the person and try to start a relationship with the person, but chill... =) Be confident enough to handle a rejection. You know that if you are really willing to give up alot of things and make the person you fancy the happiest person on earth, it's his/her loss, not yours, so don't cry/be depress over it. You gave it your best shot by trying to initiate something, but if it is simply not meant to be yours, it's just not yours. =)
Go out, find some friends and do the usuall "talk cock sing song" session, like what you have always done, you know the usuals? =) Don't let the rejection affect you so much. Why do you want to be stuck in the same spot after getting rejected? Make yourself feel better, go for a facial, pick up a sport, feel better inside and outside. Build up your confidence again, and who knows, maybe Mr./Ms. Right is just right around the corner.
Unless you are a super charmer, even then i am sure that we do get rejected at least once right?
"Eh.. i like you... do ya think we should give each other a chance?"
"No.. let's just be friends..."
Suddenly Beethoven's famous music comes thundering in....
"DANG".
Your heart feels like it has been smashed into a million pieces. The sharp pain feels as though a spear has pierce straight into your heart.
One piece of advice that I have gave to one of my troubled reader, be glad that the person is frank enough to tell you that he/she doesn't like you. He/she is doing you a bigger favour to reject you then to lead you on. It is really less painful to get rejected then to get into a relationship and find out that things just simply can't work out.
Not to be religious, but God is fair. Everyone is created for someone, that someone special. That is why, I've always believe that there is someone out there who is specially made for you, and when the person is standing in front of you, you know it. =) Love cannot be forced upon someone, let it be natural, and you will feel that it is such a pleasant and sweet feeling. By forcing someone to love you, (which eventually you know it's impossible), the consequences will only be painful, ugly and just wrong?!?
What to do after a rejection?
Ya know, after you get rejected by someone you really fancy, move on. Not in the sense ofr moving on to find another guy/girl to instantly fall for the person and try to start a relationship with the person, but chill... =) Be confident enough to handle a rejection. You know that if you are really willing to give up alot of things and make the person you fancy the happiest person on earth, it's his/her loss, not yours, so don't cry/be depress over it. You gave it your best shot by trying to initiate something, but if it is simply not meant to be yours, it's just not yours. =)
Go out, find some friends and do the usuall "talk cock sing song" session, like what you have always done, you know the usuals? =) Don't let the rejection affect you so much. Why do you want to be stuck in the same spot after getting rejected? Make yourself feel better, go for a facial, pick up a sport, feel better inside and outside. Build up your confidence again, and who knows, maybe Mr./Ms. Right is just right around the corner.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Long Distance Relationships
Can love withstand the tension of being apart for a long, long period of time?
I had been through a "long-distance relationship" before, noticed the word "had", it's past tense. I couldn't make pass it due to my weak determination.
My personal story:
I had feelings for him, although i can't really call it love, but it was a mutual feeling we had for each other. He was utimately sweet and caring towards me, and i know that he is a guy that will really take good care of me for the rest of my life. (don't ask me why, i just know it. =) ) Well, inevidently, he had to fly off to Brunei for NS despite my objections. I am just glad that he enjoyed his stay there.
We weren't together in status, although everyone thought that we were an item, we were never one although we did shared a special bond before.
What do i feel about Long-Distance Relationships?
First of all, i feel that it's cruel. I know the feeling of loving someone, wanting to be with someone, longing to spend time with someone... That someone special that you really want to share your life with and how torturous it is to be separated physically from the person. I do know that sometimes, the pain can be pretty overwhelming and tears will just flow out for no reasons even though you know that both of you still share that special love bond and are still madly in love with each other.
Will lack of communication destroy a relationship? It really really depends on the couple. I see some of my friends surviving long-term relationship like they have never been separated from each other before, and some of my other friends who dropped it like it has never existed before. The consequences is pretty much on two extreme end. Well, there can only be two consequences anyway, either you make it, or you break it.
Take a look within your heart, feel your heart and answer this question:
"Do you think that things will still be the same when your partner gets back? Will things get better? or will you feel that the gap is too far apart it's difficult to carry on?"
Most likely, I am sorry to say this, but things will never be the same. The world is revolving every single day, happenings in our life alter the way we behave abit by abit and trust me, when you see your partner again, you will notice a very very big change because you two have been apart for a very long time.
HOWEVER... (before you readers feel that I am being so negative about long distance relationship)
Appearance can change, personality can change, perspective towards things can change, everything can change, but... the love? the burning flame that has been surviving through the cold cold period of being apart? If what you two are experiencing is what i call "the love of your life", even if the sky becomes the sea, everything changed around you two, your love for each other will still remain the same. I call this the highest level of love. The love that nothing can change nor break. Love is blind. =)
How to survive a long-distance relationship?
***Please do not become a psycho and talk to the mirror everyday and pretend that you are talking to your other half and go mad okay? This is highly not advisable. PLEASE. =)
From my previous posts, mutual understanding, committment, trust, etc. all these comes into place during a long distance relationship. From what I've seen so far, not alot of couples can make it through a long-distance relationship. Well, i will say, although all the "love factors" are crucial during this point of time, the most most most important thing of all, the king factor is "belief". Believe in yourself, believe in him/her, believe in the love that both of you share, and last of all, believe that both of you will pull it through this period of "separation".
Believing in something isn't easy, but it ain't difficult as well. This analogy actually applies to all aspects of life not even in relationships, but in work as well. You got to believe and you must believe if you really want it bad enough.
For this, i wish someone all the best. You know who you are. Hugz.
For anything, and i really mean anything even from the most basic problems/trouble that you readers are facing, just drop me an e-mail @ geturlifeback@gmail.com .
I had been through a "long-distance relationship" before, noticed the word "had", it's past tense. I couldn't make pass it due to my weak determination.
My personal story:
I had feelings for him, although i can't really call it love, but it was a mutual feeling we had for each other. He was utimately sweet and caring towards me, and i know that he is a guy that will really take good care of me for the rest of my life. (don't ask me why, i just know it. =) ) Well, inevidently, he had to fly off to Brunei for NS despite my objections. I am just glad that he enjoyed his stay there.
We weren't together in status, although everyone thought that we were an item, we were never one although we did shared a special bond before.
What do i feel about Long-Distance Relationships?
First of all, i feel that it's cruel. I know the feeling of loving someone, wanting to be with someone, longing to spend time with someone... That someone special that you really want to share your life with and how torturous it is to be separated physically from the person. I do know that sometimes, the pain can be pretty overwhelming and tears will just flow out for no reasons even though you know that both of you still share that special love bond and are still madly in love with each other.
Will lack of communication destroy a relationship? It really really depends on the couple. I see some of my friends surviving long-term relationship like they have never been separated from each other before, and some of my other friends who dropped it like it has never existed before. The consequences is pretty much on two extreme end. Well, there can only be two consequences anyway, either you make it, or you break it.
Take a look within your heart, feel your heart and answer this question:
"Do you think that things will still be the same when your partner gets back? Will things get better? or will you feel that the gap is too far apart it's difficult to carry on?"
Most likely, I am sorry to say this, but things will never be the same. The world is revolving every single day, happenings in our life alter the way we behave abit by abit and trust me, when you see your partner again, you will notice a very very big change because you two have been apart for a very long time.
HOWEVER... (before you readers feel that I am being so negative about long distance relationship)
Appearance can change, personality can change, perspective towards things can change, everything can change, but... the love? the burning flame that has been surviving through the cold cold period of being apart? If what you two are experiencing is what i call "the love of your life", even if the sky becomes the sea, everything changed around you two, your love for each other will still remain the same. I call this the highest level of love. The love that nothing can change nor break. Love is blind. =)
How to survive a long-distance relationship?
***Please do not become a psycho and talk to the mirror everyday and pretend that you are talking to your other half and go mad okay? This is highly not advisable. PLEASE. =)
From my previous posts, mutual understanding, committment, trust, etc. all these comes into place during a long distance relationship. From what I've seen so far, not alot of couples can make it through a long-distance relationship. Well, i will say, although all the "love factors" are crucial during this point of time, the most most most important thing of all, the king factor is "belief". Believe in yourself, believe in him/her, believe in the love that both of you share, and last of all, believe that both of you will pull it through this period of "separation".
Believing in something isn't easy, but it ain't difficult as well. This analogy actually applies to all aspects of life not even in relationships, but in work as well. You got to believe and you must believe if you really want it bad enough.
For this, i wish someone all the best. You know who you are. Hugz.
For anything, and i really mean anything even from the most basic problems/trouble that you readers are facing, just drop me an e-mail @ geturlifeback@gmail.com .
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